EU individual paragraph

EU individual paragraph

Brainstorming:

Beginnings: 

When? 1951 "Treaty of Paris"

Who? 6 states: West Germany, France, Italy, Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg,

Why? problems after the war, struggle for resources, had to find a way to secure peace in Europe

 to unify Europe, and to avoid wars caused by the competition for resources

First draft

EU individual paragraph

The beginnings of the EU

The European Union was originally founded by 6 countries and at the time was called The European Coal and Steel Community. It was established by "The Treaty of Paris", which was signed by West Germany, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Italy and the Netherlands on April 18^th 1951 and acted as a pioneer for the European supranationalism.

The goal was to unify the war-torn Europe, after the Second World War had demolished the countries and their economy. By creating a common market for coal and steel, including Germany, one of the leading producers of steel, they hoped to bring unity to the countries’ competing for resources. To write down all the facts about the ECSC I would need more than 180 words, but to sum up, the ECSC wanted to secure the rejuvenation of the European economy, secure peace between the member states, improve the world’s economy by adding a giant construct like the EU to it, and as mentioned before bring forward the concept of a united Europe, which would stand against difficulties as a union.

Comments from last week:

Not starting a new paragraph after supranationalism
new way to start the paragraph
i would need - would be needed - less personal 
they - founding nations

 

First correction

EU individual paragraph

The beginnings of the EU

The organisation which led to the creation of the European Union was originally founded by 6 countries and at the time was called The European Coal and Steel Community. It was established by "The Treaty of Paris", which was signed by West Germany, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Italy and the Netherlands on April 18^th 1951 and acted as a pioneer for the European supranationalism. The goal was to unify the war-torn Europe, after the Second World War had demolished the countries landscape and economy. By creating a common market for coal and steel, including Germany, one of the leading steel producers, the founding nations hoped to bring unity to the countries’ competition for resources. To write down all the facts about the ECSC more than 180 words would be needed. To sum up, the ECSC wanted to secure the rejuvenation of the European economy, secure peace between the member states, improve the world’s economy by adding a giant construct like the EU to it, and as mentioned before bring forward the concept of a united Europe, which would stand against difficulties as a union.

Comments from this week:

Certain words have to be exchanged to make more sense,
Goal - intention - objective
competition - competing
united Europe - allied Europe to avoid repetition
some commas had to be added
to sum up - in short 
second -guarantee

final version

EU individual paragraph

The beginnings of the EU

The organisation which led to the creation of the European Union was originally founded by 6 countries and at the time was called The European Coal and Steel Community. It was established by "The Treaty of Paris", which was signed by West Germany, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Italy and the Netherlands on April 18^th 1951 and acted as a pioneer for the European supranationalism. The objective was to unify the war-torn Europe, after the Second World War had demolished the countries landscape and economy. By creating a common market for coal and steel, including Germany, one of the leading steel producers, the founding nations hoped to bring unification to the countries competing for resources. To write down all the facts about the ECSC, far more than 180 words would be needed. In short, the ECSC wanted to secure the rejuvenation of the European economy, guarantee peace between the member states, improve the world’s economy by adding a giant construct like the EU to it, and as mentioned before bring forward the concept of a united Europe, which would stand against difficulties as a union.